partner can’t maintain an erection and I’ve suggested Viagra, but he puts me off. Should I just accept it?

My partner is loving, kind and wonderful. But he avoids being intimate with me because he cannot maintain an erection. I am trying hard not to take this personally. I want to support him, but he doesn’t want to talk about it. He feels pressured to perform but he doesn’t need to for me – I would just like some level of intimacy. I have gently raised the subject of Viagra, but he puts off the conversation. I have suggested we go to the pharmacy together or he goes alone, and though he has agreed, he never does. I tell him it is very normal, especially after 40. Maybe I should just accept things as they are as I definitely don’t want to pressure him.

Many men avoid sex because they are afraid they will be unable to achieve an erection. It’s easier to say to a partner: “I’m not in the mood” than face what they would consider a failure to perform. No matter how often you insist it wouldn’t matter, your husband will not believe you. An approach that is more likely to succeed is for you to mention truthfully that you have learned erectile difficulties are not necessarily age-related and need to be investigated. Let him know that, in fact, they can be symptoms of an underlying medical condition (diabetes for example) and send him to your primary care doctor. A physician may be able to calm his fears and educate and assess him – and perhaps prescribe something to counteract erectile dysfunction. At the moment, I imagine he is scared, and will feel threatened by any discussion you may initiate, so seek the kind of help that will hopefully be more palatable for him.

If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to private.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t send attachments). Each week, Pamela chooses one problem to answer, which will be published online. She regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions.

With ‘Black Adam,’ Dwayne Johnson Puts His “Franchise Viagra” Reputation to the Test

In 2015, the cast of Saturday Night Live crooned about Dwayne Johnson being “franchise Viagra” during the actor’s opening monologue. Seven years later, the $142.9 million global debut for Black Adam suggests that, in a time of transition for DC, Johnson is indeed the boost the Warner Bros. Discovery-owned comic brand needs.

Even if Black Adam won’t hit the $1 billion box office heights of Aquaman, and even if it doesn’t achieve the artistic triumphs of James Gunn and Matt Reeves’ DC ventures, Johnson gives DC the opportunity to expand its reach beyond its core fans. Not everyone knows Black Adam or the Justice Society, but they all know the Rock.

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Ever the salesman, the wrestler turned actor, producer and entrepreneur has always excelled at selling one thing above all else: himself. While his presence hasn’t always resulted in the billion-dollar box office blockbusters Hollywood studios are constantly chasing, the addition of Johnson has led to a string of solid hits and just a few misses due to his global appeal.

Most franchises he’s joined have been lifted by his face on the poster, including The Mummy, The Fast and the Furious and Jumanji. Even G.I. Joe: Retaliation, something of a dud, made $375.7 million worldwide, more than the first installment. The same goes for Journey 2: The Mysterious Island, which topped its Brendan Fraser-led predecessor. And as far as solo projects are concerned, San Andreas (2015) and Rampage (2018) both crossed $400 million worldwide. Additionally, his team-up with Ryan Reynolds and Gal Gadot in Red Notice (2021) became Netflix’s most streamed movie, according to the service.

Pierce Brosnan and Dwayne Johnson in Black Adam

There is also a likability factor at play with Johnson. He’s a positive face for a DC franchise currently beset by stars with legal drama and a reluctance — see: Henry Cavill, until very recently — to commit to this universe long-term. Johnson’s recent comments about not wanting to chase Marvel, but to push DC to do its own thing, was the perfect capsule of optimism for fans, even if the WBD suits surely have one jealous eye cast the way of Marvel Studios.

According to sources with access to the polling, 43 percent of moviegoers told analytics firm PostTrack that Johnson was the primary reason they went to see Black Adam, while 40 percent went because of the genre.

So, beyond a Black Adam sequel, what could Johnson’s presence add to the DC Extended Universe? A Black Adam vs Superman film seems too simplistic to entertain, and even Johnson has cast doubt on the idea coming anytime soon (after pumping it up in the press). It’s possible Black Adam could join the Justice League, as he did in a recent comic run by writer Brian Michael Bendis. But with the Justice Society getting introduced, and being one of the strongest elements in the film, it seems more likely we’ll see Black Adam continue to pal around with their growing roster, even if he’s reluctant to officially join them.

If a third Shazam! film happens, perhaps audiences will get the long-awaited and much-delayed showdown between Adam and Shazam! that originally formed the basis of the first movie before it was rewritten.

But Johnson seems focused on making Black Adam A-list and not just an antagonist to the Shazam! family. Johnson certainly has a lot of A-list friends and pull in Hollywood (who else could convince Emily Blunt to star in Jungle Cruise?) and Warners’ new leadership seems specifically focused on star power that justifies theatrical-only distribution.

So what does a Rock-sized pull of A-listers in the DCEU look like? Perhaps a Justice League/Justice Society film that sees the two superteams at odds, and then later united against a common threat. Maybe that threat could even be Darkseid, if Warners doesn’t want to scrap what it has already set up over the years.

For audiences, there is a comforting consistency that comes with seeing a Johnson movie. Is Black Adam the most original superhero movie? No. Does it pull from stories we’ve seen before? Yes. Black Adam isn’t risky, but maybe at this point, that’s exactly what the DCEU needs.

There’s a reason why a film like Avatar, which no one is claiming to be a very original story, is the biggest film of all time: because it successfully marries spectacle with familiarity and themes that, while familiar, transcend borders. On principle, Black Adam manages to do the same thing, and while most critics weren’t high on the film, there’s something to be said about its international numbers. Those numbers are particularly telling in places like Latin America and South East Asia, where audiences and critics don’t seem to have as many hang-ups about originality as we do stateside.

None of this is to say that Black Adam excels in every area. There’s some clunky exposition and pacing issues, but it’s fun and entertaining, and yes, if we think back on the history of blockbuster movies, sometimes that’s enough. For all the critical complaints about its lack of risk-taking and generic world-building, I’d argue that Black Adam takes a stance that we’ve seen very few superhero movies take: It portrays superpowered individuals who come to dole out their brand of justice in foreign countries as invaders.

As Black Adam tells Hawkman in one scene where the latter attempts to save a kidnapped boy his own way, “He’s not your son, and this is not your country.” Johnson manages to successfully shake off any attempts to tether Adam to the ground as a generic hero, and instead he emerges as someone who, while not entirely accurate to the comic book depiction, feels cut from the cloth of pulp heroes that inspired superheroes, along with so many of Johnson’s onscreen roles.

One of the biggest surprises of Black Adam is how pro-uprising it is. It challenges the line between good and evil by asking the viewer to take a look at who’s drawing that line. And not only that, the film takes the Justice Society to task for being an absent presence in Khandaq for the 75 years of the team’s existence and the country’s continued oppression. Amidst recent comments from former comic scribe Alan Moore about superhero movies being precursors to fascism, I couldn’t help but notice how anti-fascist Black Adam is.

And now, Dwayne Johnson, the People’s Champ, as he was known in the wrestling world, has naturally transitioned to becoming Kahndaq’s champ, and maybe, just maybe the DCEU’s champ, as Black Adam.

As Johnson reconfigures Black Adam from a Shazam! adversary to a Superman antagonist, while also using Black Adam to pull together the DCEU’s various threads from The Suicide Squad to Zack Snyder’s Justice League, all while introducing the Justice Society, one can’t help but wonder if the second biggest tool in the Warners utility belt after Batman is Dwayne Johnson.

—Pamela McClintock contributed reporting.

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Premier League club’s fans most likely to pop a Viagra to score in the bedroom

FANS of Chelsea are most likely to pop pills to help score in the bedroom, according to a poll.

Twenty per cent of Blues supporters admit taking the little blue tablets to keepy uppy.

Chelsea fans are most likely to pop Viagra or something similar to score in the bedroomCredit: Getty

Arsenal fans were second with 19 per cent taking a pill, then Southampton on 18 per cent, and Man United and Spurs fans fourth on 17 per cent.

But fans of misfiring Aston Villa perform off the pitch with just six per cent needing Viagra or a similar stimulant.

Bets site freebets.com asked 2,000 Premier League fans if they used erectile dysfunction drugs.

Spokesman Tim Agnew said: “It brings a whole new meaning to the time-honoured football chant of ‘Come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough’.

“It looks like that would be Chelsea fans according to the findings.

“But on the other hand, it could be Aston Villa fans because they seem more than happy with their performance in the bedroom!”

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partner can’t maintain an erection and I’ve suggested Viagra, but he puts me off. Should I just accept it?

With ‘Black Adam,’ Dwayne Johnson Puts His “Franchise Viagra” Reputation to the Test

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